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The Family Room by Michelle Martin

November 23, 2008

Cracking wise

A friend of mine e-mailed me a copy of the first reading for Nov. 16, the one from Proverbs about the “worthy wife.”

The woman from Proverbs has a value “far beyond pearls,” as she spins and weaves the wool and flax and serves the poor and the needy.

Verses from the same chapter that are not included in the official reading for the 33rd Sunday in Ordinary time have her rising before dawn to feed her family, using her own money to purchase a field, and selling the clothes she makes to the merchants of the city.

Sounds like a thoroughly modern woman to me: She cares for her family by feeding and clothing them, but also works for its economic benefit. No shrinking violet, she speaks wisdom and offers good counsel.

At the same, she sounds a little bit too good to be true, like an ancient-world version of Supermom, who has decided that she can have it all. I just wonder when she’d have time to get the kids to basketball and soccer practice.

But the point the writer of Proverbs seemed to be making was one about priorities.

The writer of Proverbs advised, “Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting; the woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her a reward of her labors, and let her works praise her at the city gates” (Prv 31:30-31).

Now, just as then, children need their parents to give them guidance, to show the way to faith, at the very least to take them to church.

I think that was the point my friend wanted to make when she sent the reading to me and to several other friends: That what women do for their families has not changed all that much, despite the passage of 25 centuries or so. And what families need has not changed all that much, either.

I don’t think I’m the only one to feel that way. I saw women’s heads nodding all around me when the reading was proclaimed at Mass.

Of course, the writer of Proverbs was not writing only to women about what a wise person should be about, just as it is not only mothers who nurture their sons and daughters. The writer was reminding his readers to be about their business so that they and their families would be pleasing to the Lord.

On that score, I can’t say how well I’m doing. To read the description of the wise woman of Proverbs, she spins by lamplight and still rises before dawn to distribute the food of the household; I’m not sure how much sleep she gets. While Proverbs excoriates idleness, I need some rest and relaxation.

Martin is assistant editor of the Catholic New World. Contact her at [email protected].