25-cent words
By Michelle Martin
It’s a writing cliché that you shouldn’t use a 25-cent word when a 10-cent one will do.
In our house, we try not to use 25-cent words at all. After all, quarters add up to dollars pretty quickly.
But the costly words and expressions aren’t the polysyllabic tongue-twisters that writing coaches say to avoid. They are simple, short, to the point: “hate,” “stupid” and, the most recent addition, “It’s not fair!”
Every time Caroline, my husband or I speak one of those words or phrases, and someone notices, we have to get a quarter for The Penalty Pail, an old Ovaltine container with a slot in its lid. When we build up enough, we choose a charity and donate the money.
It’s not really that simple, of course. “Hate” counts when we say we hate something, not when we’re explaining something about hate (“What’s a hate crime?”) or read it from a book, and stupid counts when we call something or someone stupid, not when we quote Forrest Gump’s “Mama always said, ‘Stupid is as stupid does.’”
“It’s not fair!” applies to the words and whiny voice that goes with them, not the idea. Anybody can point out a perceived injustice without getting fined; they just can’t whine about bedtime or snacks.
Frank, 4, is joining the Penalty Pail club. When we started it, he was exempt because he couldn’t talk. Then he could use words, but he wasn’t always clear on what they meant.
But when he dropped his Lego creation and it scattered into dozens of pieces and he looked up and said, “I hate this stupid day!” Caroline, 7, jumped in with, “You just said two words you’re not supposed to: hate and stupid! And you got away with it! Cool!”
At least she didn’t say, “It’s not fair!”
But really, it wasn’t, so Frank and I had a little sit down where we explained that “hate” is a very strong word that describes a very strong emotion, and using it can make a lot of things worse. “Stupid,” when used for people, is always aimed at making them feel bad; even when used for things, it just makes the person saying it sound bad. “It’s not fair!” is just plain annoying.
So far, it seems to be working. Caroline rarely uses the banned words anymore. Since adding “It’s not fair!” to the list, I’ve been hearing it only a couple of times a week rather than several times a day. And when she does slip, knowing that the same rules apply to adults and kids—and that the money goes to a good cause—helps take the sting out of the punishment.
Frank also has gotten the idea of watching his words.
After another block disaster, he shook his head in disgust and said, with emphasis, “God bless it!”
Caroline immediately chimed in, “Mom, Frankie just said ‘God bless it!’ Is he allowed to say that?”
Yes, he is, I said. That’s one thing people say when they’re upset, but they don’t want to say something that will get them in trouble.
“What does it mean?” she asked.
Well, when you ask for a blessing, you’re asking God to be good to whatever you’re asking the blessing on, I said. And even if you say it in anger, you’re still not trying to hurt anyone or anything. Who knows? Maybe by uttering a prayer, even if you don’t really mean it, you get God’s attention, and the blessing comes to you.
Martin is a staff writer for The Catholic New World.
