This week, Catholic New World presents the story of actor Martin Sheen. The interview is distributed by Zenit News Service, a Vatican-connected
agency
Returning to God: Actor Martin Sheen’s story
Martin Sheen, the actor who portrays the president on the TV series,
“West Wing,” and starred in the movie “Apocalypse Now,” is convinced
that one of the best ways to appreciate the faith is to rediscover
it after living without it.
Known worldwide by his stage name, the son of immigrant parents
(one from Spain, one from Ireland) in fact was baptized Ramon
Estevez. He is the father of Charlie Sheen and Emilio Estevez,
the two actors who have chosen their father’s different surnames.
During an interview on Italian television RAI Uno’s program “Roots
and Betrayals,” Martin Sheen, 60, who was born into a Catholic
family, talked about how he rediscovered the faith. The interview
is being distributed by Zenit, a Rome-based international news
service with ties to the Vatican.
The Dayton, Ohio-born actor took the name Martin because it was
the name of a good friend, and the surname Sheen, because of the
popular communicator Bishop Fulton J. Sheen. “I used to see him
on television when I was little, and I thought he was a great
actor,” said Sheen. “He was a great North American Catholic theologian
and brilliant orator. I liked his fire, his passion, his sense
of humor, his charismatic presence.”
Zenit News Service: You are known as a great actor and a good
Catholic, but also as a rebel and a critic of political and civil
life. Does this vocation to protest stem from you as a citizen
or as a Catholic?
Martin Sheen: I cannot separate the two: I hope I am the same person at Mass,
during a protest, before a camera or before my wife, my children,
my community and my volunteer work.
ZNS: Do you remember the reasons for your arrests, or at least
some of them?
MS: I have not always practiced my Catholicism. I left it as a youth
and I lived for many years without faith. I returned to the faith
in 1981 when I lived in Paris. I had a new experience, almost
an epiphany, but in fact everything began four years earlier in
the Philippines, while filming “Apocalypse Now.”
I fell gravely ill and was at death’s door. I had a crisis of
conscience and, at the same time, of identity. I no longer knew
who I was, where I was going. I no longer knew anything. I drank,
smoked and behaved badly ... a really useless life, despite the
fact I was married and had children. I was interiorly confused.
I wanted to be a great movie star, I wanted to be loved by everyone.
I was divided inside: I had no spirituality, I had no idea how
to combine the will of the spirit with the work of the flesh.
Do you understand? I was divided. I was afraid of dying. I called
a priest and received extreme unction. It was March 5, 1977. I
was dying, but I regard that day as the day of my rebirth. I returned
to the sacraments, I started to go to Mass again, but I went with
fear. God had knocked me, and he could knock me again if I didn’t
behave. This went on for several months, until one day I said
to myself: “Is there no love, no joy, no freedom in all this?”
ZNS: Like the story of the prodigal son ...
MS: Exactly! Then I began to drink and to lead a crazy life, but
something was born in me. A seed had been planted and it began
to grow. Gradually, I began to ask myself who I was, why I was
there, where I wanted to go. In the end, I arrived in Paris, where
I found an old and much loved friend of mine who became a very
important spiritual adviser, a guide. He was Terence Malick, the
director with whom I worked in “Badlands.”
He began to give me books, philosophy, spirituality, theology.
One day he gave me “The Brothers Karamazov.” It took me a week
to finish it, I couldn’t stop reading it. That book went straight
to my heart, to my soul. That’s how I returned to Catholicism
in Paris on May 1, 1981.
ZNS: You have spoken of “Apocalypse Now” as a crisis. Does the
figure of Captain Willard represent a metaphor of your personal
crisis?
MS: I think so. I couldn’t have understood it then; 20 years have
gone by. However, now it is very clear. One day I asked director
Francis Ford Coppola: “Who is this personage, really?” And Francis
said to me: “It’s you, Martin, it’s you.” At that time I was a
very confused youth; I drank and was always aggressive. And that
can be seen in the film. Now I hope I am a bit different.
ZNS: You have said that you have a thorn in your being for not
transmitting the faith to your children as your parents did to
you. Why has this happened to many parents of your generation?
MS: It is very difficult. I think the Catholic faith was a gift to
me, to all of us, when we were children. What else could my parents
give me? They have given us their faith; their life was a reflection
of this faith. And that is fine, but we haven’t merited it, we
haven’t paid for it.
We did not understand the extraordinary gift we received, and
when we became adults, we thought: “It’s not so important, when
I am dying, I’ll call a priest.” Many think like this, they let
themselves be carried away by the current. When I returned to
the church, I had been away for 15 years, perhaps more. I was
a man without needs; I had no love, no respect. So, for me, the
moment I was born to the faith ... I knew it, I knew it ... I
thought: “I am home, I am home. I am free.”
But I had to leave the faith to understand what it was. Until
you have made that journey, and you haven’t paid for it, I don’t
think you can appreciate the goal. I travel across the world and
go to Mass in far-away countries. However, as soon as the Mass
begins and the crucifix in the central nave comes close, I think:
“I know this man, he is also my Redeemer, he also belongs to me.”
ZNS: Years ago, you took on the responsibility of Carrie and Paula,
your sons’ partners who were pregnant. You didn’t want them to
abort. Can you tell us about this?
MS: Look, I think God sends us gifts. The greatest gift is another
person, a child; the most defenseless, the most inoffensive gift
that God can give us. God does not look like a giant; he is a
child, you have to cradle him, feed him.
Mother Teresa always taught us this. She saw God in the most desperate
beings, especially in defenseless children. God is defenseless.
God needs us; God is able to transcend the mystery of life, becoming
flesh and blood. This is the greatest mystery.
So, when our sons’ girlfriends were pregnant, they began to speak
of abortion. The girls came to see us. We asked them: “Do you
want to have the children?” “Yes.” “We will help you have them,
because we have children and we know the value of children.” And
we did that. My wife is not a Catholic, but she is a mother and
loves children; she said: “There will be no abortions here.”
So we have these three wonderful human beings: Taylor, Paloma
and Cassandra. They are 16, 15 and 14 now. God does not say: “I
shall seek you in a perfect marriage,” but “I shall seek you in
your desperation. It will cost you, but everything will be returned
to you. Believe me.” This is what God says. No, no, it has not
been easy; it has been hard, very exhausting, emotionally speaking.
The boys were not happy at first but later they grew up and understood
what we were saying and, as a result, they now have a family.
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