(Cardinal George is on vacation)

Graced: Sustained and grateful

by Bishop Edwin M. Conway

I have mulled over in my thoughts several times how I could possibly express my gratitude to so many people who prayed for me and cared for me during my sickness and recuperation. I hope this article will help fill that purpose.

I have to admit that there were times in which I found it difficult to pray in the early days following the operation. I felt almost ashamed and somewhat fearful that I did not seem to have the energy to concentrate on prayer at a time in my life that was so significant and had such meaning. Then I remembered that ailing people I had visited over the years had told me of the same inability in their lives. My spiritual director also calmly reminded me that praying is work if done properly. Obviously, in a period of recuperation following major surgery there was little energy available beyond performing minimal survival tasks. It was especially at times such as this that I sensed the reality of the deep presence of God’s grace sustaining me uniting me with the hundreds, if not thousands of people praying for me. I have a much clearer awareness now of what it means to be a member of the church and therefore share in the goodness of one another’s prayers. It is a lesson well learned.

I was consistently moved by the letters and cards that I received daily reminding me that you were there in prayer for me and with me. Many times these communications came from persons whom I did not know but were obviously Christian in the truest sense of the word.

Many of the prayers came from children, who in direct and clear ways pointed to God’s providence. Like the third-grader who wrote, “I’m praying for you. You’re not dead yet, so cheer up.” Many of the notes were from young and older cancer survivors assuring me that I was on the right track. Many writers shared their intense spiritual insights of trusting God, the meaning of suffering, the certainty of God’s presence and the spiritual formational experience, which can come from similar episodes in their lives. Leaders of religious communities enrolled me in the prayer regimens honoring their foundresses. The Society of St. Vincent de Paul organized novenas across the nation. Parish upon parish placed my intentions in the prayers of the faithful. There is little wonder that I was sustained in prayer.

There was also a large cadre of personnel and people who cared for me for whom I am most grateful. I acknowledge the medical, nursing and technical staff who cared for me (and still do) in such a professional and personal way. The staff at St. Mary of the Lake Parish, priests and deacons, school and parish staff, and parishioners accompanied me literally every day during my illness. The staff at the Vicariate II office and Catholic Charities as well as the Pastoral Center continued to keep me involved in the life of the archdiocese and assisted me in accomplishing many tasks.

One of most impressive occasions for me was when the cardinal and my fellow auxiliary bishops together prayed over me and anointed me. It was one of those graced moments when I appreciated with such depth the church at prayer with me being the focus of it.

My family was there for me all the time. My brother was with me daily since March 13, the day of my surgery. Priests and deacons, both friends and ones I only casually knew, continued to support me and lead their people in prayer for me.

Over the period of the past five months there were many lessons to be learned. (I am afraid there are some I also failed to discover. I am told that the lessons will probably become clearer in the future.) This is what I learned:

--Patience and simply waiting to be healed is something new for most of us who have been healthy.

--It is important to listen to signals from one’s body telling one that healing slowly is occurring.

--Be open to people who want to help you even though you may have a strong drive to be independent.

--There can be dignity and strength in being weak.

The realization of the presence of God in all moments of life is of course, the overriding lesson. One thoughtful person reminded me that while cancer was an unwelcome guest in my life, Christ also came with it. It was my task to find out the message the Lord was sharing with me.

I pray that I will not lose the fundamental lesson that I have experienced, namely, that God through his loving ways is in charge. The real pain of life comes when we stubbornly resist God’s love and God’s call.

So as I thank each of you, from the cardinal through the clear-thinking third-grader, from the surgeon to the staff who were present 24/7, I ask for your continuing prayers. Pray that I may focus on the lessons so as to serve God’s people and minister well as vicar general.

 

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