Faith-filled family life offers a ‘spiritual path’

Tom McGrath developed an interest in family faith life during his 25 years as an editor at U.S. Catholic. Now the author of two books—“Raising Faith-Filled Kids: Ordinary Opportunities to Nurture Spirituality at Home” (Loyola Press, 2000) and “Daily Meditations for Busy Parents (to be published by ACTA in September)—McGrath often writes and speaks about Catholic family life.



The Catholic New World: What qualifies you as an expert on family faith life?

Tom McGrath: I have kids. I have two daughters. One is 23 and the other’s 20. They’re doing well; my one daughter’s a teacher at Farragut High School on the West Side of Chicago and the other’s a student at Illinois State University, and she’s actually going to be studying in England next year as part of a junior-year-abroad program.

My qualifications are really an interest in this. I had 25 years with U.S. Catholic, and I’m still associated with that as contributing editor. Over the years we published some of the top family life people, and that’s been my beat for the last 10 years. I’m writing on that, and interviewing people and reading all the literature.

Then I talk at parishes and family groups and pay a lot of attention to the wisdom of the parents. Parents are really interested in the spirituality of their children and the faith of their children.



TCNW: What do the parents you talk to want to know?

TM: They want to know how to counter a really shallow society, a shallow culture. They want to give their kids something that will help them live a really meaningful and quality life in a culture that wants to cheapen their children’s lives.

And I think more than anything else, they want to get a reassurance of what they know to be true. A lot of people have very, very deep faith, and when they have kids, it’s like being present at a miracle, and that touches them deeply. They want some affirmation of this undercurrent of holiness that they experience in their daily lives with their families.

There’s often a sense when they go to church that, “Oh, if you want to be holy, you’ve got to be volunteering here or you’ve got to be doing something extra outside of your daily life.”

I think parents are looking for an affirmation that they have opportunities to experience the sacred in the ordinary, to have somebody say, “That’s blessed, and that’s what you bring to the altar on Sunday. You don’t come empty-handed, you come loaded with gifts from what happened all during the week.”

One of the things I think parents get a great amount of confidence from is when we can go through the spiritual and corporal works of mercy. These are things that parents do every day, de facto. They have to, or nothing happens. That’s why it’s such a horrendous thing when you see parents who do not feed the hungry or clothe the naked—they abandon or neglect their kids—because we know that is at the heart of a sacred obligation.

That’s my message over and over and over, that their life can be a spiritual path, and to see those opportunities on a daily basis.



TCNW: What things are in the culture that can help parents?

TM: The media is a two-edged sword. There’s some horrible entertainment out there, but there’s never been so much good entertainment, so much good, beautiful stuff for families to enjoy together and for kids. The Internet also can be a two-edged sword.

What I like about our culture: Infant mortality is down. People are living longer, so kids get to know their great-grandparents as well as their grandparents. Our culture does offer freedom for children. Kids don’t have to grow up and do what their dads did or their moms did. As a feminist and as a father of daughters, I’m grateful for the great opportunities they have that they might not have had a century ago.

The willingness of people to talk about spirituality is good, and just the opportunities that people have. That’s a two-edged sword again, because people have the opportunity to do a lot of great things, but a lot of things that are going to tear you down and drag you down are very appealing on the surface. I often think about how at baptisms, they ask if we will reject Satan and all his empty promises. Our culture is full of empty promises.



TCNW: How do you counter those empty promises?

TM: You have to be intentional. If you just go with the flow, the flow is going to take you where you don’t want to go. That’s my sense. You have to intervene on your own behalf, and on behalf of your children. You have to make some tough decisions that will be countercultural, and it will be different for different people.

For some, they get rid of the TV. That’s a pretty drastic thing. For others, it’s making sure that they are of service, that they have service opportunities and the kids are involved in them as well. For everybody, it should be that worship is involved in their life on a daily basis, with daily prayer and mindfulness, and then worship on Sunday, which is transforming. That’s the most powerful event to give us eyes to see the emptiness.

Just as common worship and common prayer is a very powerful thing, within the family, the most powerful thing is the family meal. Having a commitment to that is really important, and it’s hard for people. It is countercultural.

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