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April 13 , 2008

Yearly chrysanthemums mark longest marriage

By Tania Mann

STAFF WRITER

It was Thanksgiving Day of 1937 at a football game when they first met.

He was out on the field and she was a cheerleader for the opposing team.

“She was my rival — I booed the first time I saw her!” said James D. Lee of St. Clotilde’s parish. He and his wife, Florence, were honored by the archdiocese as the longest-married black Catholic couple in Chicago. “Later on that night, I saw her at a dance, and I didn’t boo this time — I asked her for a dance.”

Florence was wearing a chrysanthemum corsage, and she explained that “he kept saying, ‘Give me that corsage,’ and plucking petals off of it. I never did. But every Thanksgiving since then — over 70 years — he has given me a chrysanthemum.”

Tying the knot

A few months later, on April 2, 1938, they “shipped off” to get married without their parents knowing. She was 18 and he 20.

James remembered, “You have him for dinner and I’ll kill you.’ her mom said. But then her dad said, ‘I don’t know what she’s so mad about — we shipped off.’”

They’ve spent most of their time together ever since, traveling to “every state you can name,” he said, sharing responsibilities around the house and these days, being bridge partners.

“We just kept on going, traveling, agreeing,” said Florence Lee. “Our marriage has been very, very good. We’ve had no problems.”

One of the Lees’ favorite places to visit is their only son’s hometown, Las Vegas, where they’ll go to celebrate their 70th. They also have five grandchildren and two great-grandchildren.

A close call

The only time the two have ever been apart was when James served in the navy during World War II for six months in 1944. He was poisoned with sulphur, however, and sent home.

“The miracle about that situation was that after leaving port, his group’s boat was blown up,” Florence Lee said. “It wasn’t his time to go yet.”

Now, when James isn’t with Florence, he’s “with the gang — the fishermen,” Lee said. He’s also a member of the Honeydew Club.

“You know, ‘Honey, do this. Honey do this.’ and I do it,” James joked. “But you show me a man who don’t belong to the Honeydew Club.”

Florence listens to him, too. She said their marriage has definitely affected her faith, because “if it weren’t for him, many times I wouldn’t get to Mass.” He tells her on Sunday mornings, “Get up, get up, don’t let the devil get ya. Go see your Maker.”

They’ve been parishioners at St. Clotilde’s for 56 years.

How they make it work

Neither understands why there is so much divorce today, and their advice for couples is just to “try to get along and be happy — don’t argue much.”

“He’ll give in or I’ll give in, but it’s just minor things,” said Florence. “When it’s gone, it’s gone. We forget it.”

When asked when the best time was for him during the past century of events, James swiftly replied, “Best time? When I met her, then.”

“Thank you. How sweet of you.” she gushed. “Well, it’s true,” Lee replied.

After 70 years, the two are still inseparable. “To me, it’s like, that’s the way it is — it doesn’t change,” said Florence Lee. “I can’t do without him and he can’t do without me. As they say, we stuck together. I’d be lost without him now … all these years.”