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The Catholic New World

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Dec. 4, 2005

Giving thanks

By Michelle Martin

Nobody could have been more excited about a birthday party than Frankie, who had several classmates and relatives coming over to celebrate his turning 5.

From putting stamps on the envelopes to choosing party prizes and the piñata—a big, rainbow-colored 5—Frank wanted to be involved in every part of the preparations. He even helped put the gumdrop fish decorations on his cake, frosted a bright blue to look like the sea.

At the party, he led off all the games, showed his guests his room and shared his toys without complaint. When it came to opening presents, he tore into them with gusto, and remembered to say thank-you with only a little prompting.

By the next day, no one could have been less excited. It was time to sit down (in itself a challenge for an almost-5-year-old boy) and write thank you notes.

Of course, asking Frankie to actually write more than a dozen notes would be something like asking a trained seal to play the “Moonlight Sonata” on a set of horns. He might be able to do it, but the result wouldn’t be very good, and he really wouldn’t get the point of the exercise.

With the miracles of desktop publishing, we made up a personalized note card, and, with Frank’s input, I typed in a message for each. I had him type his own name a couple of times, then, in the interests of finishing, helped with that, too.

Even so, Frank didn’t want to stop playing with his new trucks and trains and puzzles long enough. When the guests left, our living room looked like a small toy store, specializing in products for preschoolers, and it took much of the next day to open and try them all out. And, he pointed out, he’d said thank you when he opened his gifts; why did he have to do it again?

Because, I said, when someone gives you a present, that’s what you do. You tell and show them that you appreciate the trouble they went to.

That’s what we all did at Thanksgiving, just a few days before, I went on. Thanksgiving is more than a time to eat turkey and wrestle the big cousins—already in a turkey stupor—into submission. It’s a time for families to get together and thank God for the gifts of one another, for togetherness, for making it one more year.

That’s why we have birthday parties, too, I told him. We have birthday parties to celebrate the gift that each person is to our family, to our community, to the world. If any one of us were not here, the world would be a poorer place.

To show how happy we are to have a Frank in our family—and how pleased we are to see him growing up happy and healthy—we play “Pin the Paws on the Cat” and “Simon Says.” We pull strings on a piñata, wear silly hats, sing and blow out candles.

The next day, his grandfather’s birthday, we did presents and cake and candles again.

The way things fall, we celebrated both birthdays during the long Thanksgiving weekend, which also saw us light the first Advent candle as we get ready for the ultimate gift.

Thanksgiving indeed.



Martin is a Catholic New World staff writer.

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