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The Catholic New World


Yvonne Seeman-Florczak: “There wasn’t anything that anybody could do to get me to believe that there was forgiveness, that there was hope, that there was a plan for my life.”

Catholic New World photo by Sandy Bertog

A regular feature of The Catholic New World, The InterVIEW is an in-depth conversation with a person whose words, actions or ideas affect today’s Catholic. It may be affirming of faith or confrontational. But it will always be stimulating.


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Woman shares story of rebirth after abortions

Yvonne Florczak-Seeman looks like any suburban mother, taking care of her three children and expecting a fourth. But Florczak-Seeman’s life did not always look picture-perfect. When she was 16, she became pregnant for the first time and had an abortion. She had four more abortions until, at 20, she began to think of what she had done as killing her children. That started her on a path that ultimately led her to find forgiveness and peace, through Project Rachel, the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops’ outreach to post-abortive women. Florczak-Seeman, 42, has also started to reach out herself, with a ministry called “Love from Above,” which includes speaking engagements and “A Time to Speak,” a journal for women who have had abortions. A companion Bible study, “A Time to Heal,” will begin in several Illinois dioceses in February.

She shared her story with Catholic New World staff writer Michelle Martin.



The Catholic New World: How did you come to have your first abortion?

Yvonne Florczak-Seeman: I was a sophomore in high school. It was my very first boyfriend. It was my very first time having sex. I got pregnant the very first time. It was the worst experience of my life. I got pregnant, and my mother actually made the decision for me to abort. I didn’t have a choice.

I continued to see this boyfriend, and three months later, I was pregnant again. My mother made another appointment and took me in again. After the first abortion I was depressed, after the second abortion I was suicidal. After the second one I ran away from home with my boyfriend, I dropped out of high school, I was miserable. I was 17 years old, I had no education, I had no future, and I was very unhappy, pregnant again. The boyfriend didn’t want me to have any babies either, and he continued to take me to that clinic until I was 20.



TCNW: What changed when you were 20?

YFS: I was in complete, utter denial with that one. I didn’t accept the truth and so I waited and waited and waited and waited and by the time I got in there, I was already well into my second trimester.

When they started the process, the doctor started the procedure and it was very painful and I told him to stop, I changed my mind. He was very angry and he threw the instruments on the table and said to the nurse this is a 13- or 14 –week gestation, we need more money, and he stormed out of the room. I needed $150 to complete it; they got the money from my boyfriend. He came back in and finished the procedure, and it was as if he was ripping out my entire insides. And it was botched; he didn’t complete it. He told me to go have some pizza; three days later I was in the emergency room hemorrhaging.

That was when I received the news for the very first time that it was a baby, when the nurse said he had left part of the baby inside me. I was thinking, “What are you talking about, ‘baby,’ this is a blob of tissue. That’s no baby.”

She immediately realized what she had said and changed her terminology, but it was over for me. I realized that at the age of 20, I had legally made the choice to end the lives of five of my children. The magnitude and the reality of that threw me into a spiral roller coaster from hell that proceeded for 19 years. It involved drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, dysfunctional relationships with both men and women. I was homeless. I was an absolute walking disaster. And there wasn’t anything that anybody could do to get me to believe that there was forgiveness, that there was hope, that there was a plan for my life. There was just no way. How could God ever forgive me?



TCNW: How did you go from that to reaching out to help other people?

YFS: It was a long journey. It was a long road. At the age of 20, I decided that there was no reason to go on, and I had made the decision to end my life. I had gone to a bar and I was going to drink and then come home and take a bunch of pills.

When I was sitting in the bar, I was approached by a little old man who asked what a pretty little girl like myself was doing in a place like this bar all by myself. I thought that was a pickup line and told him I wanted to be left alone. And he told me there was a reason I was there, and there was a reason he was there that night. So I asked what the reason was, and he told me, “God hears your voice.” I had been asking God how did I go from loving Jesus at 5 to killing five kids and wanting to kill myself at 20? Where did he go? Why did he leave me?

The little man said to me, God has a plan for your life, and God was preparing to share it with me.

I truly believed he was an angel. After about 15 minutes he left, and I grabbed my purse and ran out after him, and there was not a soul there.

I walked home, and as I was walking home, I remembered the story of the Prodigal Son. He lived his life foolishly, and he was living with the swine and eating with the swine, and that’s pretty much where I was. I remembered how God invited him back, and how he loved him from a distance. I said to God, if there’s anything left, if you can use my life, I surrender my life.

It was a conversion that started and a journey that continued. The Bible said when God saw the prodigal son, he saw him from afar. That journey back is a long one. I had to go through all that. It wasn’t until I came to Project Rachel and the Catholic Church that I realized I was coming back home. I was raised Protestant, but I had been baptized Catholic and I didn’t even know it.

Now I understand that love is a journey, and we’re going to hit bumps and potholes. But if we truly, truly want what God wants in our lives, we’re going to have to live lives of surrender and sacrifice and commitment. And it’s not easy … but the rewards are above and beyond. I’m at a place in my life where I’m completely content.



TCNW: What do you want people to know about abortion?

YFS: When we did “A Time to Speak,” we based it on stories of 12 woman who share their gut-wrenching experiences of what happened, how they came to the decision of abortion and their experiences in the abortion clinic, what happened afterwards and their path to healing.

We put the stories together as exposing the 12 myths that are told to women, like, it’s a simple procedure, life will resume on Monday.

That was my story. I can still hear the woman saying that to me. And yet, life never goes back to normal ever again, because you lose a part of you. You lose that child, but you also lose the innocence of that little girl that we all have in us because God created us that way. That little girl dies; you forget how to giggle, you forget how to laugh, you forget how to enjoy life. There’s a part of you inside that knows a secret that if anybody were to find out, they would think you were a monster. When the truth hits us that what we really did do was end the life of our child … the pro-lifers are out there screaming at us. You always look at those people as radicals, because the pro-choice movement pints them as crazy people, self-righteous people, so you don’t pay them any mind until you actually go through the experience, and then it’s too late. Then you realize they’re right: I ended the life of my child.

That’s what people need to understand. Especially Catholics who have bought the lie that if they’re not pro-choice, they’re not pro-woman. That is the biggest lie out there. If you are truly pro-woman, you will be pro-life.



TCNW: How did that lead to the idea of a Bible study?

YFS: At the end of “A Time to Speak,” we then ask the women if they want to become involved in meeting other women, and invite them to contact us. We wanted to bring women together in small groups to talk about their experience with the choice if abortion and how that is impacting their lives still. Many women, they don’t understand that they’re intertwined because we live in a society that absolutely refuses to accept that there is an aftermath to abortion, because abortion is a billion-dollar industry. Abortion is about money. It had nothing to do with women’s rights. And the word of God says that the love of money is the root of all evil.

The Bible study goes through the Old Testament rom Eve to Sarah to Hagar to Leah to Rebecca, and we talk about these women who are in the Bible who were so instrumental in our faith. So many times we just don’t hear about that. It’s time for us to hear about Deborah and Miriam and Esther and Hannah, these women that God used in an incredible way to carry his message and set the people of Israel free. Even though these women made bad choices, God did not stop the plan he had for his people or for their lived because of their mistakes. Through the act of Calvary, we were forgiven. Through the act of the sacrament of reconciliation, we were se free. Through the act of the Eucharist, we can life our lives knowing that our death experience has been converted into life.



TCNW: How do you end it?

YFS: After the 12 weeks we will have a retreat for the women, and we will call it a “slumber party.”

I’ve seen lives be touched by our ministry, Love from Above, and I’ve seen the power of God. Do I regret what I did? Definitely. But if I had to do it all over again, I don’t know that I’d do it any differently, just because it’s who I am. God made me who I am today because of those experiences, and because of that pain I can help other women. There is a huge, huge reward in that. It doesn’t have to be kept a secret. It can be turned into life. It can be used to help a 13-year-old, it can be used to help another woman who is still stuck in the aftermath of her decision. We can be used as an instrument of God’s power and grace. That’s what the faith calls us to do.
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