No plastic Jesus

It seems like just yesterday that the rugs in our house were little more than camouflaged minefields.

Lurking in the 1970s-era shag carpet were hidden dangers: a sharp little Barbie shoe, a GI Joe rifle, accessories of the many doll-type creatures laboring under the label of “action figure.”

Of course it wasn’t yesterday; more like 20 years ago. The shag carpet is long gone; so are the kids. And though we’ve moved from that house, I suspect bits and pieces of GI Joe are still hiding in the corners waiting for an unwary toe to find them.

Why am I telling you this?

Well, the other day a new “action figure” crossed my desk, bringing these memories flooding back. This one was … well … different.

It’s the Jesus Action Figure. With “poseable arms,” just right for such pretend events as blessing the crowds at the Sermon on the Mount or staging your own crucifixion. And the “gliding action,” perfect, I presume, for walking on water or just rising above it all.

And no, I’m not making this up.

Besides evoking old memories (and sore feet from stepping on sharp little objects), the Jesus Action Figure (let’s just go with JAF) elicited a deep spiritual groan.

The problem with GI Joe, Barbie and their buddies was that they projected a warped sense of reality. The Joes never got hurt in the make-believe wars, let alone died. Barbie offered young girls an impossible physical image. (An image, though, quite overpowering for young boys on the precipice of adolescence.)

OK, so they were toys and not supposed to be real. Still, parents often had to correct the misconceptions created.

Fast forward to the JAF. There are no accessories, so no tiny chalices or sandals or loaves or fishes to harass the soles of the feet. “Souls,” however, could be another question. Neither does this toy create a sense of reality. In fact, there’s just too much of the opposite.

From the list of other products offered by the firm, (www.accoutrements.com) JAF’s creators obviously have tongue planted firmly in cheek. Why else the “Wiggly Hula Girl,” “Trick Squirt Camera,” “Nunzilla” and the like rounding out their “top 25”? Still, there are more serious JAFs—in sets which include Moses, Mary, Goliath and others—designed as biblical-education toys (www.trainupachild.com).

That’s not a bad thing, I suppose, but consider this: Jesus is already too plastic. We need, instead, to make him less so.

In one sense, that’s the goal of the renewed push to improve catechesis in the archdiocese (see story). Faith shouldn’t be plastic, anymore than Jesus is.

Especially among too many adults and young adults, faith has no face except a plaster saint or empty phrase. There are entire generations (and not just since Vatican II, either) for whom Jesus, and religion, are not quite real. Except, of course, at special events like baptisms, weddings and the like.

A plastic Jesus bobbing from a dashboard, or lurking like an apparition from a golden frame in a the front room, may be signs of a nascent faith, or one of ancient memory, though not necessarily a faith that is truly connected.

The Jesus Action Figure (poseable arms and gliding action notwithstanding) may be fun to take a journalistic poke at, but give me a flesh-and-blood-and-spirit Jesus anytime.

Tom Sheridan
Editor and General Manager